BookWenches

My Secret Love…

Once, I had a secret lover. Actually, I have many of them all the time. I spend my waking hours thinking about them. I spend my nights together with them while my husband sleeps quietly next to me. (Okay, maybe not so quietly.) My secret lovers are often full of surprises, playful yet intelligent. Dramatic and funny. My secret lovers fulfill me in a way that my husband simply can’t even if he wanted to, and it’s possible that my secrets are what’s keeping my marriage going, keeping it fresh and making it possible for us to stay together during the good and the bad times.

And OF COURSE, I’m talking about books.

The first book I remember being obsessed by was a picture book called It’s Mine. I’m sure that my mother and I picked it up in the library when I was a kid. I couldn’t find it by Googling it, although there is a new book by that title with frogs on the cover. The one I had featured two kids, I think a boy and a girl, fighting over their belongings. I remember one wearing a rubber duckie style swim ring and seeing them fight over a carrot. I could not get enough of that book. That, and the book Ten Apples On Top were my favorites, probably because of the inherent dramatic properties of covetousness and trying to balance ten apples on your head. What can I say, I was three.

I read everything by Beverly Cleary because the librarians told me to. I remember Veronica Ganz whom I just discovered was the creation of an author named Sachs. I remember very vividly a character that chewed black jelly beans and spat them from her nose. (What the hell book was that???) I read every Nancy Drew I could get my hands on. There was a book called The Pink Dress, by someone named Anne Alexander, which is apparently quite collectible today. It’s about a girl who loves a boy, who asks her to a dance. She gets appendicitis and his i.d. bracelet. Wow. I checked that book out so many times in the fifth and sixth grade I’m surprised they didn’t ban me. This was orgasmic stuff for a kid in the sixth grade.

Then one day, my librarian sort of licked her lips and looked to make sure no one was listening. She seemed nervous; concerned that we’d be seen making this particular transaction. She handed me An Innocent Wayfaring by Marchette Chute.

Ohmyfuckinggosh.

My first historical romance.

Ahhhhhh. That was exactly the elementary school equivalent of hitting a tub of warm water with a box of dark chocolates and a great bottle of champagne.

That was the good stuff! I’d been holding out for something and I didn’t even know what it was, but a romantic story with a strong plot and well researched history? That was it! And oh, the doors that book opened for me. I’ve read everything from what seems like the first romantic novel, Tristan and Isolde to the lovely Britwriter m/m authors like Erastes and Alex Beecroft and Charlie Cochrane who write wonderful historical novels, and I love them all. *sighs*

The next Aha! Experience I had was exploring books I’d already read in a number of new ways. Re-reading the Chronicles of Narnia, first aloud on an alcohol-fueled college party weekend with friends and later, with my kids. Reading The Mists of Avalon when I was in the middle of a nervous breakdown. Rereading the Lloyd Alexander books on a summer beach vacation, just because…

I find I love to sit on the beach and read Young Adult novels with my own young adult offspring. They bring amazing conversations that ebb and flow like the very waves hitting the sand, naturally, in a friendly and unforced environment that keep that fragile line of communication between us open at times when I think maybe the kids are thinking about closing them.

Don’t even get me started on the Harry Potter years… All ten of them. For a solid seven years no one in my family went to sleep without either a CD or audiocassette version of one of the Harry Potter books playing in the background. As you moved down the halls, it was eerie, as you could hear Jim Dale’s expressive voice coming from each of my children’s rooms. I thought we were going to have Twilight years too, but that came and went rather quickly.

I found manga with my kids and sailed along with them on that journey, enjoying the multicultural aspect of it, taking the opportunity to explore the Asian countries and cultures, mostly Japan, Taiwan, and Korea that the authors and artists come from by checking out the food and the customs locally. We’ve made trips across town to find the best Bao buns and poked around Little Tokyo and Chinatown in San Francisco. We’ve gone to the Anime Expo a couple of times, and haunted the local Anime and Manga bookseller’s stores for news and information. I have pretty much followed my children’s lead since they were born, preferring to be literally on the same page with them as they make their journey through books.

But I also read romantic erotica, and that’s what I write. And all of this doesn’t even begin to cover the books I’ve read that were neither genre nor fiction nor romantic: cookbooks, how-to books, books of facts, diaries, biographies, literary novels, things that were forced on me in school and things I picked up at flea markets thinking that has a pretty cover, I think I’ll take that home.

My solid hot molten core of burning desire belongs to books and books alone. (Although I think a lot of my hubby.)

So I wanted to get a conversational ball rolling here, or at least get people thinking, are there books that have changed your life? Do they stand on your path like bumpers in a pinball machine, so that when you hit them they make it impossible for you to carry on along the same course in quite the same way you were going before? Are there books that so floated your boat you had to find them later, like lost lovers, and share them with the people most important to you? Do they define you and reveal you, please you and tease you? Do they form the spine of your figurative soul? Do you remember your first, your last, your worst, your best, your most difficult, your most timely, your most tragic?

Books are like gifts from the gods. I’ve been pleased to write a few of my own, and while I don’t think they’re life altering I really love being part of the long line of people whose thoughts and words have made it beyond their own heads and into the hands of others. I think it’s as if I’ve come full circle, finally, being able to give something as well as just take it. I’m really grateful that I have that opportunity, but I’m only one drop in a vast and ever changing ocean.

So…

Whatcha reading out there?

********

Z.A. Maxfield is the author of many fine m/m romances, such as Notturno, The Long Way Home, and Drawn Together. Her books have been published by MLR Press, Aspen Mountain Press, and Loose Id. You can purchase her works through these publishers or from e-tail sites such as Amazon.com, Omnilit, and Fictionwise.com.